Im not proud. How can I be proud to have been more than 11 stone overweight?
You tell me I appear amazing, you tell me I should be proud. You ask what my secret is, and say I put you to dishonor. You say I must feel better, and ask how much have I lost.
What I cant say is I dont feel better; I never seemed bad in the first place. I ache, Im sore, Im pushing my torso to change the weight. Im tired from working out most periods on a calorie-controlled diet.
No, I dont look amazing. My clothes embrace flabby, excess scalp, stretching marks and deflated breasts. The right clothes hide this, but trying to find them takes a lot of searching. The torso in the changing-room reflect is nowhere near amazing.
Im not proud. How can I be proud to have been more than 11 stone overweight? Ill be proud when I continue to a healthy weight.
And , no, I have no secret. Im only doing what I should have always done: eating sensibly and exercising. No, I dont put you to dishonor. Im ashamed of myself every time someone comments on my weight loss. I genuinely was that big.
No, I dont want to tell you how much Ive lost. Through gritted teeth, Ill tell you its 10 and a half stone, and Im the one reproached, again.
I dont want your compliments. I dont want my weight loss to be the focus of every dialogue. I dont want my bigger friends to distance themselves because they belief Im judging them. Please merely be my friend the one who calls for silly reasons, who comes out for a booze, goes for lunch and never statements on my body. Please be my friend, who doesnt tell every time we fulfill, Oh, Im starting my diet next week. We can do it together. Please merely be my friend, irrespective of how I look.
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